2 Year Anniversary & Halloween

Today, 2 years ago, we got married, it has been an amazing ride, and I’ve never been happier, although, I’d be so much happier if he were in the same state, much less the same country as me right now.

As far as the military lifestyle goes, we’re batting 1-1, which is pretty good, considering I know people who have been married several years and have only spent a few anniversaries together. We were just so lucky to have spent our 1st one together.

We are on the downward slope of this deployment, over the hump, over half way finished! Just got to make it through the holidays!

Happy Anniversary Babe, I love you and miss you!

Day 20

And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. (Eph. 4:32)

It's time for some heart examination. As you continue in this 30-day challenge, have you found any roots of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship with your husband? Do you understand that as long as you are unwilling to forgive your husband—by God's grace and in His power—you will not be able to encourage him? Your own resentment will keep getting in the way. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes. Forgive him, even as God has forgiven you.

Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for such a man.

Does your husband seem to harbor grudges against you? If so, could there be things you need to change? Do you possibly need to ask forgiveness for an offense?

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I’ve forgiven my husband for the things he’s done, and I’d hope he’s forgiven me.

We’re still young, and have a lot to learn. But we are learning together.

I try not to hold grudges, as I’d hope my husband doesn’t either.

I’m so grateful for my husband, and I know I don’t say it enough.

Day 19

Read a wife's description of her beloved in Song of Solomon 5:10-16.

Criticism leaves scars; but encouragement can bring healing. Remember that today as you focus on your "30-Day Encouragement Challenge."

Almost nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife finds him repulsive. Sadly, many women unwisely criticize their husbands' bodies.

Have you ever considered how wonderfully God designed men and women? No matter how a man looks—by the standards of the world—a loving God designed them all, and they are all "beautiful" in His sight. Encourage your husband today by praising his uniqueness.

As you look over your husband's body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, thank God that your husband is "wonderfully made," then admire your husband verbally. (Strong arms? Hairy chest? Firm hands? Big feet? Rugged chin? Wide shoulders? Compassionate eyes? Broad smile?)

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I nit-pick, always have, probably always will. So this is a good reminder to not nit-pick so much.

My husband has pretty eyes, and a nice smile. And a beautiful soul!

Day 18

You will show me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy . . . Happy are the people whose God is the LORD! (Ps. 16:11a; 144:15b)

A merry heart does good like medicine. (Prov. 17:22a)

It's hard to criticize others when we are enjoying their company. Instead of speaking negatively to your husband today, enjoy him! Encourage him! As you experience fullness of joy with God, share some of that joy with your husband.

Does your husband have a playful side? A great sense of humor? Is there a "little boy" that wants to escape from time to time, reflecting the joy in his heart?

This is a wonderful part of who he is, and a great strength. Let him know that you appreciate his joyfulness and his playful spirit. Find opportunities to join him in positive play times.

If your husband can sometimes be overly serious, coax him out occasionally for some play times. It will help him relieve stress and relax.

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My husband is such a “little boy” and that is one thing I love about him. He knows how to have fun, and he is funny. And he’s learned that there is a time and a place for the fun and games. As I have too.

When we were dating, it was mostly long distance, so we would talk on the phone every night, and he was tell me a joke every night. I always looked forward to those jokes.

Day 17

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. (Prov. 9:10)

Are you a wise woman? Do you open your mouth with wisdom, as Proverbs 31:26 suggests? As you continue in your 30-day challenge, remember that a wise woman encourages her husband.

Is your husband a "wise man?" Does he have a godly perspective that comes from knowing God and walking with Him in obedience? Does he have a sense of purpose for his life and vision for your home? Tell him how much this means to you.

If you are not sure about your husband's vision for your home, ask him, "Honey, what do you want to accomplish with our marriage and home in the years to come?" and "How can I help you accomplish that?" If he does not have a vision, your questions may inspire him to develop one.

If your husband is not walking with God—or perhaps, does not know the Lord—you have the opportunity and responsibility to practice your faith and create a thirst for God. Thank God for giving your husband a place in his heart that only He can fill, and keep praying that he will turn to the Lord to fill that vacuum!

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I know my husband knows the Lord, but I don’t know what his vision is for our home. I guess I should ask him!

Day 16

And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Gen. 2:18)

God says that it is not good for man to be alone. But the way some women criticize their mates, the husbands may long for solitude. Be careful today not to criticize your mate, but look for ways to encourage him personally and publicly.

Speaking of communication, does your husband communicate with you? God has made you a companion and helper for your husband, and part of being "one flesh" with him is the privilege of sharing and discussing personal needs and concerns. Thank God for that wonderful gift. Thank your husband for communicating with you.

If your spouse does not communicate as you wish, look for ways that he communicates that are normal for him: smiling at you, nodding his head, even a pleasant grunt, and then thank him for letting you know that he cares. Perhaps he needs to be lovingly taught how to communicate. Be patient with him . . . and listen when he does speak.

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We communicate fairly well now that he’s deployed. We talk almost daily, and he lets me know things he wants me to send to him, or not send to him. We talk about the bills and how we want to save the money, and lately things haven’t been a fight. It’s been nice. I enjoy talking to him about these things when we don’t fight.

He is also very affectionate when he’s not deployed. He always tells me he loves me, and shows me he loves me by kisses, holding my hand and hugs. I do miss those SO much!

Day 15

Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (2 Pet. 3:18a)

Sometimes we live so close to our spouse that we fail to see him as others do; we only see our husband's faults. But take a step back. Perhaps he is growing spiritually in ways you have failed to appreciate. How can you encourage his growth in a fresh, new way? Remember, your husband is accountable to God for his spiritual development. You are accountable to God to encourage and not hinder that growth.

Can you identify an area of spiritual strength in your husband? Does he pray or read his Bible regularly? Does he like to read about or discuss spiritual matters? Does he go to church with you? Is he a spiritual leader? What do others say about him? If you can identify a specific area, praise him for that.

If not, pray earnestly that God will work in his heart, and watch for signs of spiritual growth in the future.

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This is tricky. Neither one of us is very religious at the moment. We both believe in God and know him and love him. But we don’t do anything as a family or separately to grow spiritually.

We don’t talk about it much. If at all ever. But I do pray from time to time. I just don’t know what the LT does when it comes to this subject.

I do know that he’s a believer, and we both love the Lord. So that has to count for something.

Day 14

yes, I skipped day 13, but it was because it is about the sexual relationship, and that is not for a public blog…

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The righteous man walks in his integrity. (Prov. 20:7a)

Every week there are news reports about men who gave in to temptations and compromised what they said they believed. We hear countless reports about dishonest business dealings, hidden infidelity, and hypocritical leaders. It's so easy to focus on
these things and ignore those who are being honest, faithful and genuine. As you continue in the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge," determine to look for ways that your husband stands against the culture.

Is your spouse a man of integrity? Is he fair in his dealings with people? Does he understand the meaning of justice? Is he honest in business? Unhypocritical in his
faith? Consider all the ways a man can live in integrity, and praise your husband for one of them.

As you have the opportunity—as it is appropriate—share examples of your husband's honesty and integrity with others.

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I might be bias but I think my husband is fair and honest. I’ve never known him to be dishonest. I can’t think of any time where he’s not had integrity for others. Now, my memory is miserable, so I can’t think of times when he was, but I’ve never known him to NOT be those things.

Day 12

With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love. (Eph. 4:2)

Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart?

Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it's simply that we expect too much in some areas.

Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others.

How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing.

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I think the hardest part of this challenge for me is to be consistent in blogging through it. I have no problem speaking positives on my husband, because I truly love him and think he’s an amazing person and husband, and will make a wonderful father one day.

I hope I get to speak with my husband today, and tell him thank you.

Day 11

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (Eph. 5:22)

Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands—especially by speaking evil of them to others—show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission.

Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority. Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership. Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together.

If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder . . . nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership "as to the Lord."

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The one thing I respect about my husband is his job. He’s an officer in the U.S. Army, and that to me deserves SO much respect. I sometimes get so mad at people who trash talk our troops, and who won’t stand up for them. I don’t tolerate that kind of thing, especially now that I’m married to someone who is giving up things in order for these people to trash talk.

The long deployments and long hours when he’s home sure stink, but I respect him for wanting to do this to provide for our family and for the people of this country. My favorite quote when it comes to this type of thing is “If you don’t stand behind our troops, stand in front of them.”

Day 10

Only the 5th day of October and I’ve already missed 1 day…Go figure, I never claimed to be a great blogger, and I think I’ve even stated a few million times how horrible my memory is…Oh well, we press on…

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Behold you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant! (Song of Solomon 1:16a)

We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved. Early love letters probably reflected our admiration, but if we're not careful, our spouse will forget why we were drawn to him. If you still have any of your old love letters, re-read them for
clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse.

When we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent admiring them. As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, "How can I admire him?"

Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical
characteristic, or something else?

Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easy-going confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting in the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him!

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My husband is pretty much the same man I met and married, just a tad bit more mature, only a tad ;)

I can’t pinpoint what exactly it was that made me fall in love with him. But he was just so sweet, and understanding, and not judgmental about my past. He accepted me for who I am, imperfections and ALL!

And he’s still so sweet and understanding, and still doesn’t judge me for my past.

And in turn, I do the same.

Day 9

Be swift to hear, slow to speak. (James 1:19b)

We are often so busy speaking that we don't take time to listen. We are so quick to offer a comment—negative or positive—that we don't really "hear" our husband's heart. Remember: we have two ears and only one mouth. We need to listen more!

As you continue in your 30-day challenge, not speaking negatively and focusing on positive encouragement, hear the Lord's admonition today: "Be swift to hear."

If listening is a real problem for you, play a game with yourself. See if you can listen to your husband for one whole day, only speaking when asked a question. If your husband notices the difference, explain that you are learning to listen more—not only to God, but also to him.

One easy way to express admiration for your husband is to ask a question about something he enjoys, and then listen to his response. If it's an area of personal familiarity, keep asking questions until you learn something you didn't know, then tell him, "Wow, I didn't know that!"

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This is something that is kind of hard to do now, since we hardly ever talk face to face (or skype) and we usually just email back and forth. I know I should listen more when we do speak in person, and I’d like to think that I do listen a good amount of the time.

When we do email, I ask questions of things he’s said. And most of the time, my responses are just “I love you” and “I miss you” because I really do love and miss him so much. But we get a lot solved in our emails from time to time too. And it’s kind of nice to have things written down, so I can go back and look at them later, because he’ll tell me he wants something, and then I forget, but since we wrote it down in an email, all I have to do is just scroll through and find it. Because we all know how horrible MY memory is.

I do think I’ve done really well with not speaking negative towards my husband, there might have been a few times when telling a story I’ve said something, but most of the stuff I say is positive, because I’m just SO blessed with such an amazing man! It’s truly hard for me to believe that someone like him loves me, little ole imperfect me.

Day 8

But who can find a faithful man? (Prov. 20:6b)

Faithfulness is a wonderful but rare quality today, especially in regard to marriage. Do you understand how important this quality is? Your challenge is to continue to root out all negative speaking, and plant seeds of encouragement instead. You may be amazed
at what will grow.

Contemporary culture often entices men to be unfaithful to their wedding vows and spiritual
commitments. Appreciate your husband's faithfulness—how he is loyal to you. Let him know that you are glad he has "stick-to-it-iveness" in your marriage. Appreciate
his faithfulness to God. (If you have an unfaithful husband, this is a difficult area for you. Pray, speak the truth in love, remain faithful yourself, and discover ways to encourage faithfulness in your mate. The Bible says that husbands may "be won by the conduct of their
wives" [1 Pet. 3:1]. You may also want to seek counsel from a mature, godly individual or
couple.)

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I am SO blessed to have a faithful husband. I’ve been in several relationships where the man was unfaithful, and that is just such a toxic relationship and a toxic way of life. I am just so glad to be out of those relationships and married to a man who is 100% faithful to me.

Thank you hubby for being faithful to me! I love you!

Day 7

I was going to start over the 30 Day Husband Challenge, but I’m just going to start where I left off. It’d probably end up being REALLY repetitive, so I’ll just go from Day 7 to the end!

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Day Seven
Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease! . . . for riches certainly
make themselves wings. (Prov. 23:4-5b)

That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries. (Prov. 8:21)

Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, "Am I being negative toward my husband in the area of finances?" Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead.

Does your husband handle finances wisely? Does he make good financial investments, based on biblical principles? Does he have a budget? Does he make wise decisions about purchases—checking many sources before he buys? Is he a good steward of his money before the Lord? Let him know how much you appreciate his strengths in financial matters.

If he is weak in this area, encourage any good decisions that he does make. Perhaps you can help him, if he's open to the idea, by organizing financial files or providing other practical assistance. Or, if he wants you to handle the finances, ask for his input before
you make decisions that will affect him.

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This is one area where we struggle, but since he’s been deployed, we’ve gotten caught up on bills, and haven’t been late or skipped payments on ANY of our bills. We are slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to some of our debts.

We have a budget, but we’re both really bad at sticking to it, which is something I’m working on, and I’d hope he is working on.

He is VERY good at researching things at different stores and sites before buying something though. Where I am just a go buy something I want/need and not care what brand it is or what reviews it’s gotten.

Since he left I have been in charge of the finances, and we’ve done a really good job about talking to each other about big purchases. If there is something big he wants, he asks me if we can afford it, and if I say we need to wait to buy it he will, and I put the money aside, so he can get what he wants.